Thursday, May 26, 2016

The Fool on the Hill



Day 9: Sunday, March 27, 2016
Easter Sunday.  Today was not a great day.  It started off ok.  The bunny came, we looked for eggs, we found baskets, then everyone got dressed in their Easter best and we went for an Easter Hike up the mountain we are currently residing on and found a tiny herd of elk by a pond.  There were two playfully chasing each other around, in and out of the water and clearly having a great time.  Then there were two actually in the pond, drinking water and giving the others looks that I’m sure Mike and I have given to the boys.  We didn’t get closer because Tuck was afraid he’d get eaten, but it was a pleasant walk.  Later, however, things took a turn for the worse.  We have been on this vacation behaving as though everything is fine hunky-dory.  In reality, Mike’s Dad is gravely ill.  That’s actually a bit of an understatement.  He has late-stage pancreatic cancer.  The really bad kind.  We only found out about this in the few days before we were supposed to leave, and only had it confirmed while Mike was busy passing his actuary exam in the hours before our intended departure.  We talked to doctors, family, and friends, and finally decided to leave anyway.  There was nothing for us to do, and nothing was truly known.  His doctor herself gave her blessing.  When we returned in 3 weeks, there would be more to do and still plenty of time.  But today, it doesn’t appear that this is actually the case.  I had to send my husband home to his father and family while I put on my big-girl panties and stepped up to finish this thing without him.  I don’t really want to.  This is our family’s epic vacation.  It’s not much of a family vacation without the heart of our family.  But here I sit, alone in the mountains of Arizona, contemplating what to do with my children tomorrow to keep their minds off the fact that their father has flown away. We explained why, and I think they get it, but I’m getting a lot of attitude from Jack.  I don’t blame him.  The fun parent left. Still doesn’t change anything.

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