Not too long ago, someone asked me how I liked having 3 kids. I think I made a joke, because honestly, I don't have much time to think about it. But now that the question has been asked, and I have had time to think about it, here is the answer: Pretty well, all things considered.
Here is the thing about being the mother of 3: It's really not much harder than being a mother of 2, and in some cases, it's much easier. Jackson is in school all day, so I typically only have 2. Jackson and Tucker occupy each other when he is home, so then it is like only having 1 child. Sometimes the 3 play together, so then it is almost (for a second, if you close your eyes and ears) like having no kids. And with 3, there is a clear majority, and the majority, clearly, rules.*
And the transition wasn't really that bad, either. The transition from no kids to 1 kid can be pretty jarring. Suddenly, a tiny helpless person is dependent upon you for EVERYTHING. But, there is only 1 of them, and there is usually at least 1 of you, typically more.* And the upgrade from 1 to 2 can be downright brutal. You are used to being able to tag team, and suddenly it is every man for himself. But the change from 2 to 3 is barely noticeable. Sure, you're now outnumbered. It sounds like a big deal, but its not. Because the truth is, you're already crazy. You are already in the widening gyre. The center is already giving way. Mere anarchy is already loosed upon the world.*** The difference is negligible.
Let me invite you into my head for a conversation I have with myself, I'm ashamed to admit, multiple times per week. It's the exact same one, the exact same way, over and over. I have a very simple shower routine, and it starts with washing my hair. So, I will be standing in the shower, water as hot as Max can stand it cascading over my head and drowning out the noise of him splashing at my feet, when I think to myself, "Did you just wash your hair, or were you getting it wet so that you can wash it?" It's like a scene from that movie Memento when the guy is running and he can't remember if he is chasing someone or is the one being chased. Anyway, I heave a sigh of exasperation at finding myself here AGAIN, and then I try to smell my hair. This exercise is, of course, futile as I have been using the same flavor of Herbal Essences since college and can no longer smell it. So then I close my eyes and try to think. I try to will myself to remember what happened after I washed Max. Sometimes, I even have to think about whether I got even that far. But it is always useless. I never actually remember. Then, the still-sane sliver of my brain chimes in with, "Oh, just wash it again. You'll get to stay in here longer." The rest of my brain quickly agrees that this is a wonderful idea. Even with Max in there with me, it is frequently the most time I have to myself until bedtime. (He generally ignores me in favor of the toys and gathering water in the bottom of the tub.) So, I wash my hair again. And as I'm scrubbing, I always think, "Man, this is familiar. I think I did this already." But then that still-sane sliver reminds me that I do this every day, so of course it seems familiar. And then I sigh again and try really hard to pay attention, because I have gotten stuck in this loop multiple times on occasion, particularly when I'm really tired. And then I remind myself to pay attention when I wash my face because a very similar conversation can happen we get to that part of the program, as well.
Why did I tell you this? To illustrate exactly what kind of crazy we are talking about. But its not all that bad. I have very shiny and healthy hair (when I remember to cut it more than every 6-9 months.) And while there may be voices, I at least recognize them as my own. In any case, it is always interesting! :)
*But, obviously, I know nothing about having multiples.
**Or single parenting.
***Let's give credit where credit is due. I am not actually this clever. This is Yeats. Sort of. It's pretty close, anyway.
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